I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
