Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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