your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
