yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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