I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
