Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
