I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
