You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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