Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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