Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
