there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
