this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
