i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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