Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
