I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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