i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
