the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
