I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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