Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
