First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
