take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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