For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize