I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
