I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
We talked him into tasing himself.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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