Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Just puked most of my soul out..
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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