This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I take back everything I said about communal showers
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I supernannyed him into submission
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
