Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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