Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Boobs speak an international language.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
