pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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