I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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