Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
