I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Just pee around me
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
