i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Sorry about my life...
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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