Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
