Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
