he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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