he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
