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physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
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