We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
