is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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