dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Randomize
