I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
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