Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I just gift wrapped bread.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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