whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
