I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
