just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
