If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
