I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I want to fling myself into the sun
Randomize
