haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
How does one acquire holy water?
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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