hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Randomize
