don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
