You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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